On Russia’s interference in the U.S. elections

Glad to report that there is no collusion, no collusion at all! Let’s go to work and make America great again! No collusion….

On Hillary Clinton

The FBI people closed the case on her without any investigation, but they are still bothering us. No respect!

On Trade War with China

China is still on Abacus Time! They should stop taking advantage of us!

On China’s President Xi Jinping

I love President Xi Jinping. As I frequently say, “Make love, not war.”

On Alec Baldwin

Pathetic clown! Not even his wife thinks he is funny. Sad!

On Jared Kushner

Nice, bright boy. Don’t understand why people don’t like him.

On the wall with Mexico

I’ll build a wall (paid by Mexico!) that not even a fly will be able to go through! We are invaded by rapists. Enough!

On the Democrats

The Democrats are blocking progress! Because of them we have all those Mexicans coming in. America for Americans!

On Robert Mueller

Nitpicker-in-Chief! Get a life!

On the Washington Post

One day they will learn what are real news! Fake, totally fake! Shame on them!

On the Rasmussen poll showing high approval rating for the Trump administration

Thank you, Rasmussen, for showing an all time approval rating for my administration! Love u!

On Kim Jong Un

Missile boy, my nuclear button is bigger than yours and, most important, it is not Made in Korea. Mine works! So there!

On “Stormy Daniels”

Who is this “Stormy Daniels” woman? To me she looks more like a drizzle, not a storm…

On Amazon

Bunch of losers! Stop making money out of the U.S. government. Get a job!

On arming teachers at schools

The best defense is a good weapon! Teachers, even in religious schools, should be armed. Nuns for guns!!

César Chelala is NewYork writer.