Man, "The Reasoning Animal
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“Man is the
Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think
it is open to dispute. Indeed, my
experiments have proven to me that he is the
Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is
incurably foolish. Simple things which other
animals easily learn, he is incapable of
learning. Among my experiments was this. In
an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be
friends. I put them in a cage. In another
hour I taught them to be friends with a
rabbit. In the course of two days I was able
to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some
doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together
in peace; even affectionately.
Next, in
another cage I confined an Irish Catholic
from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed
tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from
Aberdeen. Next a Turk from Constantinople; a
Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a
Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a
Buddhist from China; a Brahman from Benares.
Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from
Wapping. Then I stayed away for two whole
days. When I came back to note results, the
cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in
the other there was but a chaos of gory odds
and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids
and bones and flesh--not a specimen left
alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed
on a theological detail and carried the
matter to a Higher Court.”
―
Mark Twain,
Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings
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