Escape Hoods and Go Bags

Escape Hoods and Go Bags

Colin Powell's dismal "evidence" against Saddam Hussein. Boy, did Colin make an ass out of
himself at the United Nations on that one. It's one thing to have Picasso's Guernica covered up, quite another to pass off a grad student's thesis as a reason to invade and bomb Iraq.

Kurt Nimmo

Damn, I knew I should have invested in Intertape Polymer.

They manufacture some mighty fine duct tape. Intertape Polymer's duct tape
is strong, durable, waterproof, and suitable for use indoors or out -- or so
their web page claims. It's the perfect candidate for sealing yourself in a
closet for that inevitable day when al-Qaeda invades your neighborhood.

I wonder how many Americans last week actually locked themselves in a
bedroom or bathroom and taped up the windows and doors with plastic
sheeting. I wonder how many of them passed out from the carbon dioxide.

I'm sure there will be a few smiles at Intertape Polymer and other companies
that make duct tape this week when they check out their inventory lists. But
it's not only duct tape manufacturers who experienced an increase in their
earnings last week -- so did companies that sell bottled water, flashlights,
batteries, and plastic sheeting.

Good old George W. Bush and Tom Ridge prompted a run on all those things.
Who said terrorism (or as Bush calls it, "terr'ism") isn't good for the
sagging economy?

Meanwhile, there was plenty of crow to eat in Washington. "Do not fall for
hysteria and rumor," said Rep. Porter J. Goss (R-Fla.), a former CIA officer
and chairman of the House intelligence committee. "There is no
justification, there's no more specificity to the threat." Sen. John D.
Rockefeller IV (D-W.Va.), vice chairman of the Senate intelligence
committee, wants Bush to address the public on what's up with the phony
terrorist threats.

Um, John? Get a clue.

Remember Dan Rather accusing Bush of changing the subject with a terror
alert when prickly questions arose about who knew what before 911? Then
there was that White House memo listing the war on terr'ism as a big time
political advantage and fund-raising tool. The memo also tossed around ideas
on how to take advantage of terror alerts. "Of course the White House is
going to exploit the terrorism threat to the fullest political advantage,"
said Democratic strategist Russ Barksdale. "They would be fools not to. We'd
do the same thing."

Nice, Russ. I bet you guys would mug old ladies in Rock Creek Park if it
provided political advantage.

The Bushites know exactly what they're doing. For instance, Colin Powell's
dismal "evidence" against Saddam Hussein. Boy, did Colin make an ass out of
himself at the United Nations on that one. It's one thing to have Picasso's
Guernica covered up, quite another to pass off a grad student's thesis as a
reason to invade and bomb Iraq. Colin had egg all over his face. No way Bush
was going to take that one sitting down. He told Tom Ridge -- or maybe Karl
Rove told Ridge -- to crank up the terror threat. Go orange, Tom. Go orange.

Bingo. Presto. Shazam.

Next thing you know al-Qaeda's belly crawling through the bushes clutching
cannisters of sarin or maybe baggies containing some of that anthrax sold to
Saddam by American corporations.

I mean, Powell said Saddam and al-Qaeda are in cahoots.

Not only are businesses stuck with tons of stuff nobody wants to buy because
of the Bush recession, but now the FBI's National Infrastructure Protection
Center wants them to double check their employees. Just in case some
al-Qaeda "sympathizers" hired on. Obviously, it's easy for al-Qaeda
operatives to sneak in the country and find jobs working at chemical plants
and nuclear facilities. Never mind you can't find a job in this economy.

I'm not sure exactly how you go about ferreting out al-Qaeda wannabes. Maybe
double-up on telephone monitoring. Check out their email. See if they're
reading the Koran over lunch. I sure wouldn't want to be an Arab working at
a chemical or nuclear plant these days. It's tough all over for people from
the Middle East who live here. Even Arabs born in New York or Nevada or
Florida are under suspicion.

It's no picnic for Asians, either. Last few times I went through the border
check point here in southern New Mexico the cops had some Asians pulled off
and were giving them the once-over. A few weeks ago they were doing the same
with three blacks guys. Now I don't know what these black guys had to do
with terr'ism, but then I guess you can't be too careful. I mean, Jose
Padilla is a former gangbanger. But then he's Puerto Rican.

Profiles can be tricky.

Members of Congress were told the other day they need to get together "go
bags" of supplies, sensitive documents, and important phone numbers in case
of an attack. Staff members were given training recently on how to handle
"escape hoods" that protect against biological or chemical substances. Our
tax dollars at work. Maybe it would be easier to simply change the foreign
policy of the US so people in other lands don't feel compelled to gas us or
plow commercial airplanes into big expensive buildings. It's just an idea.

Escape hoods. Go bags. Phone trees.

Hey, I don't make this stuff up. It was published in the Washington Post.

It helps, of course, to scare the lima beans out of Congress. Sooner or
later they will be told to vote on the Son of the Patriot Act, otherwise
known as the Domestic Security Enhancement Bill of 2003. Passing out escape
hoods and holding seminars on biological warfare is a perfect way to make a
point. So was telling senators a few months back that al-Qaeda might take
pot shots at them on the golf course. Last week the FBI warned them about
vanity plates on their cars. Oh, and nix congressional pins on jacket
lapels. Next thing you know the intrepid FBI will be warning Congress about
the wait staff at Capitol Hill restaurants.

US Capitol Police chief Terry Gainer warned House members to be on alert for
attempts on their lives. Senators asked Tom Ridge if it might be a good idea
to clear their families out of Washington. No need, said Ridge, and then he
told the senators the probability of an al-Qaeda attack is "50% or greater."

Dick Cheney weighed in next. "All we can do," he told a gathering of
administration officials, "is ask ourselves, Have we done everything we can
to prevent an attack? I want to be able to look all of you in the eye and
(have you) tell me that we have done all that we can."

Thus the mad dash on all inventories of duct tape and plastic sheeting.
Cheney will be working on additional plans to save the nation from his
bunker at the US Naval Observatory.

Please stand by for further instructions.

But it wasn't strictly Washington freaking out about terr'ism. In New York
police diverted trucks to mile-long single lanes over East River bridges,
closed the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, and searched every single tunnel and
bridge in the city. It was almost perfect timing on Bush's part because
there was a huge demo against the impending Iraqi invasion the very next
day.

I mean, who has time to think about millions of people around the world
protesting when you're busy thinking about how you're going to escape clouds
of chicken pox or anthrax microbes? Priorities. Demos seem inconsequential
by way of comparison.

Bush and Crew may have screwed up on this particular terror alert, but
sooner or later they'll get it right. In fact, according to Wisconsin
Lieutenant Governor Barbara Lawton, Dick Cheney and Tom Ridge told her and
other state government types Condition Red is "inevitable."

Condition Red means Bush wants you to avoid "public gathering places such as
sports arenas, holiday gatherings, or other high risk locations." It also
means FEMA expects you to stay home and camp out before the TV or radio and
wait for "official instructions about restrictions to normal activities." No
work, no school for the kids. All of this is "inevitable" if Bush is going
to push through his ambitious agenda.

Nothing gets the ball rolling like Code Red.

Not to worry, though. Cheney and Ridge said the feds will soon cut loose
with some money for the states. This infusion of cash will not be slated for
schools, roads, bridges, and other such mundane things, mind you, but for
anti-terr'ism efforts. "They want us to direct all of it or most of it to
terrorist-related investments, not to extra fire trucks," Lawton said. In
other words, if your kids pass out from lack of oxygen in that duct tape and
plastic sheeting safe room, don't call the local EMS because the parameds
will be busy holding bake sales. Or they'll be standing in the unemployment
line.

Anyway, it might be about time to do some research on Google. Find out who
makes those escape hoods. I tend to think the go bags are nothing more than
plastic bags or maybe canvas sacks. But then with the egos in Congress and
their penchant for spending our money of on frivolities, you never know --
they may have custom go bags made with their initials and flags emblazoned
across them.

Look on the sunny side: there very well may some new investment
opportunities in go bags and escape hoods.

Isn't America great?
---

nimmo@zianet.com
Kurt Nimmo's Another Day in the Empire
http://nimmo.blogspot.com/

Join our Daily News Headlines Email Digest

Information Clearing House

Daily News Headlines Digest

HOME