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Waiting for "Mr.Goodbar."

By Layla Anwar

12/31/07 "ICH" -- -- I vaguely remember the title of this film. It was “Looking for Mr.Goodbar”, starring Diane Keaton, if I recall correctly.

Another neurotic, desperate, dependent, insecure, American “woman”, looking for love in all the wrong places... An emotional survival story.

I've read a lot of your so-called emotional survival stories...

Your dog dies, and you seek emotional survival by either sleeping with the first pretender or you are stuck in therapy for another 5 years.

You lose your job and there you go, acting out, fucking around as if there is no tomorrow...

You grandparent or parent dies and ditto, you recourse to the same...

Your twin towers collapse and ditto again – you have been in therapy ever since.

Your therapist is very understanding, after all you pay him/her over 200 dollars an hour and she/he pats you on the back and tells you it’s ok, it’s nothing but a phase of grief...don’t punish yourself, you are just trying to heal...

How very touching indeed.

You the puritanical, hallelujah, people trying to heal through anonymous sex, your mechanical, instant gratification sex.

Reminds me of some Italian friend of mine who said to me years ago. He said “Layla, people fuck the way they eat." I thought about that for a while and came to the conclusion that your way is nothing but junk just like your junk food.

No wonder two cents worth, quacks and charlatan gurus, from India visit you and promise you “opened chakras and spiritual sex” and you pay hefty dollars, serving them and waiting for the inspiration to finally fall on your little putrid heads. You may also, eventually, join an ashram later on and write a book about it. So noble !

Actually, I can say to you without sounding presumptuous that you know absolutely nothing about sex.

I mean hell, look at your diet to start with, and the way you eat. And that even includes, you-- little preppy vegetarians.

It’s the mentality. You have the mentality of a teenager when it comes to love and sex...And you have the mentality of a blasť but still hopeful consumer when it comes to “doing it.”

Well, I have news for you – your shitty, sick, neurotic, mentality has pervaded us. But, with a slight difference. We have no therapists, no gurus and no fad diet to fall back onto.

Quite the opposite in fact. But hey, we have also become sexually liberated.

We have done what you cannot do for yourselves, despite years of bra-burning, chakra mantra-singing and group sex therapy under Guru supervision.

We are also looking for Mr. Goodbar. But we found him. A question of survival.

UNCHR the very “respected“ agency that deals with refugees (and I find myself spelling it out for you since you are so behind and ignorant in everything) calls it “Survival Sex.”

I am sure this term turns you on – after all you have been trying it for years since your sexual liberation and it has not borne any fruits. Well maybe, just maybe, you think to yourself, it will bear fruit in Iraq.

Well, it did. Pat yourselves on the back. “Democracy” and “survival sex.”
What better combo can one wish for ?

Survival sex is rampant not only inside Iraq but also outside.

It happens in alley ways, around shrines, in dirty beds and in bars...Bars in Syria and Jordan.

They are all waiting for Mr.Goodbar.

But contrary to your Hollywood star, they are not there to heal from some relationship gone emotionally sour. Oh no.

They are there to make a bit of money to feed their hungry sisters and brothers waiting for them in some damp, dirty, cockroach ridden, room - where they are all amassed, one on top of the other, hungry and waiting...

Hungry and exiled because of YOU and YOUR fucking democracy. And this is exactly what it boils down to -- a fucking democracy.

Some of them are as old your teenagers - with one major difference.

They are forced into it whilst your teenagers produce videos of it on you tube, counting hits for the highest number of viewers.

Your teenagers will seek therapy eventually. After several miscarriages, unwanted pregnancies, failed marriages and a string of boyfriends and probably end up in some rehab talking about it in a "meaningful sharing way.”

Our teenagers, on the other hand, forced into it by YOU, will remain stigmatized for the rest of their lives and they can already kiss their future goodbye. They have no future.

So tell me, is that not criminal ?

So tell me, does that not make you a complicit criminal people?

Our teenagers prior to their “liberation” did not need to seek survival sex.

They did not need to sit in bars in skimpy dresses waiting for the Mr. who will alleviate the hunger pangs of a whole family.

Did not need to put make up and score the highest number of hits.

Your teenagers do. You brought them up that way. They are your product, from your society.

And you have made sure to export it all to us. Your junk food, your deadly arms, your lousy English (and accent), your neurosis, your perversions, your idioms, your ways and your “survival sex.”

Survival sex in the era of exported democracy – Great title for a smashing Hollywood film or a best seller book.

Survival sex, the Iraqi-American version.

Survival Sex and Mr.Goodbar.

Survival Sex and Mr.Good Democracy.

Good, very good - 10 $ a shot.

No make it 20$- I have a hungry family.

Ok, says Mr.Goodbar, take 20$.

A 20$ shot democracy.

That is what your democracy is worth on the market – but even then, that is too inflated...

I say, you Americans, are not even worth that much.

I am not sure that will necessarily help you in your therapy, but hell, seeing what you are really worth, at least you can bargain your therapist’s fees – down...

While...Your hungry, sad, neurotic, despondent, dependent, women and daughters, are desperately looking and waiting for their Mr.Goodbars.

Layla Anwar,  Who am I ? The eternal Question . Have not figured it out fully yet . All you need to know about me is that I am a Middle Easterner, an Arab Woman - into my 40's and old enough to know better. I have no homeland per se. I live in Iraq, Lebanon, Palestine, Jordan, Syria and Egypt simultaneously ... All the rest is icing on the cake.

Copyrights reserved, 2006-2007

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