Supreme Court Ruling Spurs Corporation Run for Congress

By ERIC HENSAL AND WILLIAM KLEIN

January 29, 2010 "
IPA" -- Following the recent Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission to allow unlimited corporate funding of federal campaigns, Murray Hill Inc. today announced it is filing to run for U.S. Congress. "Until now," Murray Hill Inc. said in a statement, "corporate interests had to rely on campaign contributions and influence-peddling to achieve their goals in Washington. But thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, now we can eliminate the middle-man and run for office ourselves." Murray Hill Inc. is believed to be the first "corporate person" to exercise its constitutional right to run for office.

"The strength of America," Murray Hill Inc. said, "is in the boardrooms, country clubs and Lear jets of America's great corporations. We're saying to Wal-Mart, AIG and Pfizer, if not you, who? If not now, when?" Murray Hill Inc. added: "It's our democracy. We bought it, we paid for it, and we're going to keep it." Murray Hill Inc., a diversifying corporation in the Washington, D.C. area, has long held an interest in politics and sees corporate candidacy as an "emerging new market."

The campaign's "designated human," Eric Hensal, will help the corporation conform to "antiquated, human only" procedures and sign the necessary voter registration and candidacy paperwork. Hensal is excited by this new opportunity: "We want to get in on the ground floor of the democracy market before the whole store is bought by China." Murray Hill Inc. plans on filing to run in the Republican primary in Maryland's 8th Congressional District.

Campaign manager William Klein promises an aggressive, historic campaign that "puts people second" or "even third." "The business of America is business, as we all know," Klein says. "But now, it's the business of democracy too." Klein plans to use automated robo-calls, "Astroturf" lobbying and "computer-generated avatars" to get out the vote. Added Hensal: "This is the next frontier of civil rights."
 
 

 

Click on "comments" below to read or post comments

 

Click here to learn how to post a comment .Comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate material will be removed from the site. See our complete Comment Policy.

 

| More

   

Email Newsletter icon, E-mail Newsletter icon, Email List icon, E-mail List icon

 Sign up for our Daily Email Newsletter

 Please help  Support   Information Clearing House

One-Time Donation
 
$
Recurring Monthly Donation
 
$
Thank you for your support

 

In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, this material is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. Information Clearing House has no affiliation whatsoever with the originator of this article nor is Information ClearingHouse endorsed or sponsored by the originator.)

 

 

Search Information Clearing House

HOME

COPYRIGHT NOTICE