Bush announces slumber down under

Bush announces slumber down under

CNNNN From ABC Australia 10/03/03

The White House announced today that US President George W. Bush will be visiting Australia this month after he attends the APEC conference in Thailand. The leader of the free world will spend as many as 24 hours in freedom's furthest outpost, in a tangible demonstration of how valuable a partner the US Government considers Australia.

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While the full details of his programme have not been released, CNNNN's sources have confirmed that the primary purpose of the visit is for President Bush to get a good night's sleep.

APEC will be a very stressful experience for Bush, as it is held in a non-Christian country and requires him to remember a lot of ethnic names, so he has decided to proceed immediately to the closest American-style country for one of the snoozes that have become a hallmark of his time in the Oval Office.

CNNNN understands the President will already be asleep at the time of landing in Australia, and that he will be transported from the bed on 'Airforce One' to his hotel bed via a special Motorcade Mattress.

Law enforcement insiders have confirmed that when his head touches the pillow in his hotel, that pillow will become 'Pillow One'.

While Bush's plan to spend his time in Australia asleep will limit opportunities to meet-and-greet him, well-wishers can attend an official Slumber Down Under dinner at Randwick Racecourse MCed by Alan Jones.

Attendees will be able to watch the President dozing via live video link for only $10,000 a head.

CNNNN's Washington correspondant, Julian Morrow, encouraged viewers to attend, saying that in his experience Bush was an "inspirational speaker." NewsBand leader Andrew Hansen also reassured viewers that "when this President sleeps, he doesn't sleep with interns."

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